Autumn (new poem)

Here I am “finally” with something new to share with you all. I’ve had trouble sleeping lately and was up writing at 3am this morning, the up side is I tend to write my best stuff when I’m tired. This one simply comes down to my love of Autumn! 

Autumn

Black against the light of day

And basking in the act of autumn,

The Oak now stripped of her troubles

Is left with her arms in all directions.

She is seemingly taller,

With her feet firmly in the earth

But trembles at my touch

As she awaits the chill of winter.

Do not be afraid, she stirs

Her limbs swaying in the gentle wind,

We must open our hearts to change

And trust that the sun will warm us.

I’m Back!

Hi all! A few things to mention, first of all to say I’m back from my holiday and ready to write again! Second to inform you of all of a few new changes and additions to my page. Some of the changes are visually obvious and I hope you all like the new layout (if not, I need you to tell me why so I can change it). The other updates include new photo’s from Barbados in the Photography page and new paintings in the artwork page, both of which I have more to add to in the forthcoming weeks! I also have some new poems and short stories which I’m to post in the next few days.

Thanks to everyone still visiting my blog in my absence! Have to say it’s nice to be back, though missing the sun!

Foolish Promise

This is an old poem that I haven’t wanted to post till now. Just to reasure you all, I’m glad to say it’s an old feeling!  

Foolish Promise

I looked at you

And saw the world you created

With a perfect blue sky

Before the silent call of night

 

Every word spoken

Came from that which you desired

The thoughts I had risen

Always lingered down below

 

Now I look at you

And see your world closing in

The echoes of your past

Circling shadows at you feet

 

While in the empty room

Left abandoned and unwanted

The chair of which you sat

And read my every word

 

You showed me a place

Built on a foolish promise

And took it away

Without the courtesy of a goodbye

The New Blog!

First of all I’d like to thank everyone for their patience while I’ve been working on my blog. Just in short, the blog has now moved to a separate page and the home page is now fixed as ‘About Me’. You can find the links to each page including ‘My Blog’ on the right hand side. I hope this isn’t too confusing and that you find your way around without any problems.

 

Second, I would just like to advise I’m on holiday from the 10th to the 22nd. During this time I won’t have internet access, though I might locate an internet cafe if I’m lucky! I will try to get more work up, specifically my poetry and short stories before I go.

 

Again, thanks to everyone visiting my site, I hope you like the changes I’ve made. Any problems let me know!    

 

 

A Solar Romance

This was something that had been brewing in my mind for a while, I liked the idea of the moon longing for the sun and actually, I’m thinking about writing a second poem from the suns point of view. Will see if I do or not! Also, just to say I couldn’t think of a good title so if anyone has any suggestions let me know!

 

 

Oh Moon,

What a silly affair this is

Beaming with desire

In the dark of the night

 

Just look at the mess

You’ve got yourself into

Playing two and throw

With the rising Sun!

 

You are not lovers walking

Hand in hand beside the river

Nor a couple kissing

Below a starlit sky

 

 You are complete opposites

Only acquainted by time

 Forever dreaming

Of a solar eclipse

Updates!

Hello again!

 

First of all I need to apologise for not being very active here lately. The development is coming along, I have started to change the layout, on your right you will see the pages available to view though keep in mind I’m still working on them. The Artwork and Photography pages will be update later today or tomorrow as I need to be at home for that and I’m currently at work.

 

If you come across any problems or something isn’t looking quite right please let me know. Still learning, but I think I’m getting better at this! Again, thanks for everyone who is visiting and checking back!

 

Developing my blog!

Hi all!

This is just to let anyone interested know that I’m currently working on developing this page so posts may be slow for most part of next week. I hope to build a separate page for each section, for example, ‘Novels’ will have its own page and will have tabs for each novel. This applies to my artwork and photography too. In the meantime I will try to get a few posts up but hope to offer more as soon as I’m done!

Thanks to everyone who has visited this page so far, really appreciate all the support!

Remember Tina Arena?

Most of you who know me will agree when I say I am madly passionate about music! So, I feel it’s about time I start introducing that part of me into my blog. Before you ask, I am planning on adding a few songs of my own at some point but I need to find the courage first and quite frankly that’s not going to happen today! But keep your eyes open, or ears peeled even, as the idea is warming to me.

On to Tina Arena. I’m sure most of you are wondering who she is, but no need to worry, your looking at her number one fan right here! Unashamed to admit, I’ve been so for a long time and still hold a lot of admiration for her, I decided to share her with you. It seems every now and then when I feel the need to evaluate my life, or when I’m in a situation that leaves me emotionally unstable I reach for a CD. I will always choose something that puts me in a happy place, usually in a good time in my life and Tina Arena’s music does that for me.

It was when I was 15 years old, ironically a sad time as it was at my Granddads funeral that I was introduced to her music. But, sad as it the time was, her music was of inspiration and throughout the years almost a familiar friend who I can reach for when in need of a little comfort. So, with this I have added one of my favourite songs of hers which you can listen to by hitting the tag ‘Tina Arena – Burn’ and I’ve added a few links for anyone who would like to know what happened to her! All that’s to say is that this is the first of many and I hope you enjoy!

Tina Arena – Burn

Tina’s official website: http://www.tinaarena.com/

Tina’s Australian official website: http://www.tinaarena.com.au/

Writers Block

When having trouble with writers block, write about it? It’s all I could manage at the time! This is just a working title, any ideas for a better one, give me a shout!
Writers Block

With my fingers like legs

To the body of her spine

She stands on her tip

Awaiting orders to entwine

And there upon the white run

My hand slips to her thigh

Yet no touch can warm her ink

No matter how hard I try

And so I rest her head

As the words in me subside

For I can not catch her beauty

On this blank page tonight

 

The Petal

This was a poem I wrote after a bad situation finally ended. It was a long time coming and I knew it, so was a good feeling! 

 

The Petal

The petal drops

And scrapes the air.

A butterfly in motion,

Silently moving

Left to right,

Right to left.

This the last leg

Of the final mile,

Till it hits the ground

And my heart sighs.

 

 

 

 

 

My Ghosts

Another little poem – hoping that I’m not the only one with these kind of ghosts!  
My Ghosts
Sometimes I see you.
You’re the ghost of my past.
You smile at me like a child,
Like a puppy,
Like a long lost friend who’d been meaning to call.
 
Don’t think for one second
That because I smile, we are friends.
Don’t think that because I feel you standing there,
That you hold me back.
 
When the time comes
You will disappear,
Your memory will fade
And just like a bad dream
I will wake up and you will be gone, forever!

Bang, Bang! Chapter 3

For anyone interested I’ve updated my novel Bang, Bang! on my Booksie profile, the link is below. I decided considering the content that I’d offer the link rather than post the complete chapter here on my blog. Hope you like!  

http://www.booksie.com/romance/novel/nixie/bang-bang-(complete)

Remembering New Zealand

This is just a short poem and I had planned to add more photo’s with it but for some reason that didn’t quite work. Still getting used to wordpress at the moment but I’m thinking about writing something more of my time in New Zealand, if I do I shall add more photo’s with it.

Remembering New Zealand

 

All summer long

The blue stretched beyond the mountains

Where Whakapapa their mother,

Still tipped with snow,

Watched as we made for Tupou,

And when those midnight fireflies

Came to rest her pounamu eyes,

We laid on the docks and watched

For shooting stars in the night sky.

 Now a world away,

Aotearoa, stays in my memory

And I wonder if Whakapapa, their mother

Still remembers me.

 

 

 

 
 

 

For Stuwie

This was a piece I wrote for a very good friend who died on 25th December 2005. He was 25 years old, only 10 days younger than me. I grew up with him and often think of him now. It took me a long time to be able to put anything in words about him so this was the first time I managed to do that.

For Stuwie
We grew up opposite each other, remember? We walked to school beside each other. We occasionally held hands, for playing games and such first, and then we did so for friendship and comfort.

In the summer we’d play tennis after school down by that church, bouncing the ball against the building even when we were told not to. We’d search the stream for frogs born and take it home in ice cream tubs with jiggling hands. Remember when I dropped the tub on the floor and cried because I’d killed them? You told me not to cry, said that they were just jelly!

Remember that winter sledging down by the Hawth theatre? When my sister swallowed her chewing gum and nearly choked to death. Or that time my parents came to the hill and my mum broke that new sledge my dad spent his wage on? My mum limped home and I held her hand and you mine, my dad carrying the sledge a half in each hand behind us.

Remember that time we put washing up liquid on the slide in my back garden and ran it into the pool? We zoomed down that slide like never before while our parents, none the wiser drank home made punch in the sun. That’s the same day we snuck into the corn fields in our swimming costumes and played spin the bottle with our friends. The next day at school everyone found out, they asked me if you were a good kisser – remember?

I hated football, but I watched with you. Our older brothers played for Three Bridges football club every Sunday and we’d cheer them on and boo at the other team. It wasn’t long though until I was watching you play. You scored 6 goals once!

Remember your last few weeks in your bed. You were so strong while we cried. And that cold day in January that followed was bitter cold morning, where I found old school friends! I know, a reunion? On the very day we said goodbye! What a contradiction! But, it was warmer with old faces and a comfort as we smiled, drank and talked about you Stu, and that’s when we pledged Christmas day, Stuwie day.

See, Stuwie, I remember you. I remember your face like it was yesterday and that’s how it will always be. My friend, I know you hear me, I miss you.

 

 
 

 

Blast From The Past

I came across this self portrait a few days ago and thought I would share it. I think it’s about 8 years old! I don’t know though… does it look like me?! I have one of when I was 15 too but there’s no way I’m letting that one loose!

Not today!

 

First of all, what a long day! Though it shouldn’t be as I didn’t wake up till late this morning and if you really want to know, we’re talking 11 hours of sleep! Still I managed to relax before getting ready for work and even did some Pilates, though I am officially useless at it! I was at one point getting it but I am totally rubbish at the moment! I find myself choosing a cup of tea and a biscuit instead of a fruit tea, and I’m always working my way into that chocolate isle when food shopping!

 

And what it comes down to is that it must stop! But now that I’m sat here with a cup of tea and some sweets I am thinking – tomorrow!

 

Short Story – An Execution of the Heart

This is a short story I wrote in March of this year. I was reading an article on cancer research here on the internet and it got me thinking. If I can find the article I will add the link here.

An Execution of the Heart

By Nicola Brooks

I stand at the bedroom doorway, unseen, I am able to look at her, my lover, my soul mate, my wife, and remember her and all our years together. Her face is as beautiful as it ever was, with a story to tell.We met, 45 years ago, eating fish taco’s on the Las Vegas strip. I’d run out of money, she’d run out on her boyfriend. Ah, time has taken us on a journey; Las Vegas was just the start, then followed marriage, children, and grandchildren. Now I have to be stronger than ever and help her end the pain. Because I love her.I watch her apply a layer of red on her lips, the way I remember her doing in a cracked mirror, in that one-stop shack, the morning after we met. We haven’t spent a day apart since, not even the night before our wedding.

My thoughts escape me as she closes the lipstick and turns and frowns at me. “Do you like this outfit, is it too much?” she say’s nervously and pats the blue matted skirt at the thigh.

She probably knew I was there all along, but didn‘t want to see my heart breaking, or see me with doubts. I look her up and down; she is wearing the white blouse that I bought her last year, the one with a pattern of a rose on one side of the collar. I step inside and place both hands on her arms. “You look just perfect.” I nod and try to smile at her.

“I love you, Burt.” she say’s, taking my shaking hands in hers, steadying them none.

I can not speak and so I pull her into me and hold her. She is warm, and I tell myself over and over to remember this.

With her head on my shoulder she whispers into my ear “It’s time…” and pulls away from my grip on her. As we separate she takes my face in her hands, and I close my eyes as she gently places those red laced lips against mine. I do not open my eyes, even after her hands slip from my cheeks.

“Sweetheart?” She beckons me to open them again, and even though it hurts, I find her green eyes and caress them with mine.

I hide the words I long to say – selfish words, and we do not speak as we follow each other into the bathroom, our hands linked until I reach for the bathroom cabinet. On the second shelf, her pharmacy sits in some daily order; Selenium, Beta Carotene, Vitamins A… and my hand finds the desired bottles; Melatonin and Astragalus.

I take them bringing them closer to my enfeebled eyes. She looks at me as I do, and reassures me with a smile, they are the right ones.

In the bedroom, we open the bottles and lay the pills out, a set of white and pink dots on the bedside drawer. I pass her a glass of water and with my hand in hers, I watch as one by one she takes them.

She holds the last one out in front of her and smiles at it. That smile is the same smile I found myself falling in love with, and watching her is breaking my heart.

Her eyes are already closing when I lay her back against the puffed pillows and her lips start to bleed red, as the lipstick smudges from my kisses. I whisper sweet words and I cry at her frail body as it weakens and falls loosely on the bed; her eyes are closed, her face stiff.

I look at her, I beg for her open her eyes again, long to hear her speak – tell me I’m a useless husband for not washing the dishes last night! Anything!

She does not move.

I panic… I can not see it through!

The ambulance arrives minutes later. I tell them I found her on the bed. They think it’s an attempted suicide, and try to save her by pumping her stomach, but it is too late.

My wife dies on the way to hospital and I am left alone with my guilt. I am lost without her. She is left in peace, without the scares of Cancer

 

 

Sequins

Sequins
By Nicola Brooks
Curiously I look up into the night
At the thousand sequins ready to dive
 
Holding hands earth dare not wither
Swimming tides the ocean’s quiver
 
But the dark is silent and waits to plummet
Two catapulting fists into her stomach
 
Once black as black the background roar
Mountain for teeth her volcano core
 
The remaining sequins like pins for eyes
Watch as heaven and earth collide
 
She burn’s her fingers, her head to her toes
The dust is black and dancing tornadoes
 
And smokey silk from her hollow ears
She does not cry or wipe her tears
 
The land so bleak and vast she yearns
Whispering words as the sun returns
 
The eyes have gone, at least for now
Till next time the sequins fall down

 

This Place

I built this place,
With my bare hands,
With every brick,
I gave it life.
I stayed inside,
And breathed her in,
With every beat,
Comfort!
I painted her heart,
Made her perfect,
Ready for love
Come what may,
But now this heart
And everything I believed in,
Is slipping through my fingers,
Into pieces on the floor

Moonbeam

 

A new poem! This one has a rather personal touch. I think this is about the unattainable and the peace acceptance can bring. Time keeps on ticking! Anyhow, it’s called Moonbeam, I hope you enjoy it.

 

Little moonbeam

Trapped in the shadows

What a dangerous hold

You have over me

When reaching out

So far into the distance

Shrouded with desire

And the longing to be loved

I tenderly watch

With my fingers extended

As your light disappears

At the hands of time

 

An Execution of the Heart

An Execution of the Heart

By Nicola Brooks

I stand at the bedroom doorway, unseen, I am able to look at her, my lover, my soul mate, my wife, and remember her and all our years together. Her face is as beautiful as it ever was, with a story to tell.We met, 45 years ago, eating fish taco’s on the Las Vegas strip. I’d run out of money, she’d run out on her boyfriend. Ah, time has taken us on a journey; Las Vegas was just the start, then followed marriage, children, and grandchildren. Now I have to be stronger than ever and help her end the pain. Because I love her.I watch her apply a layer of red on her lips, the way I remember her doing in a cracked mirror, in that one-stop shack, the morning after we met. We haven’t spent a day apart since, not even the night before our wedding.  

My thoughts escape me as she closes the lipstick and turns and frowns at me. “Do you like this outfit, is it too much?” she say’s nervously and pats the blue matted skirt at the thigh.

She probably knew I was there all along, but didn‘t want to see my heart breaking, or see me with doubts. I look her up and down; she is wearing the white blouse that I bought her last year, the one with a pattern of a rose on one side of the collar. I step inside and place both hands on her arms. “You look just perfect.” I nod and try to smile at her.

“I love you, Burt.” she say’s, taking my shaking hands in hers, steadying them none.

I can not speak and so I pull her into me and hold her. She is warm, and I tell myself over and over to remember this.

With her head on my shoulder she whispers into my ear “It’s time…” and pulls away from my grip on her. As we separate she takes my face in her hands, and I close my eyes as she gently places those red laced lips against mine. I do not open my eyes, even after her hands slip from my cheeks.

“Sweetheart?” She beckons me to open them again, and even though it hurts, I find her green eyes and caress them with mine.

I hide the words I long to say – selfish words, and we do not speak as we follow each other into the bathroom, our hands linked until I reach for the bathroom cabinet. On the second shelf, her pharmacy sits in some daily order; Selenium, Beta Carotene, Vitamins A… and my hand finds the desired bottles; Melatonin and Astragalus.

I take them bringing them closer to my enfeebled eyes. She looks at me as I do, and reassures me with a smile, they are the right ones.

In the bedroom, we open the bottles and lay the pills out, a set of white and pink dots on the bedside drawer. I pass her a glass of water and with my hand in hers, I watch as one by one she takes them.

She holds the last one out in front of her and smiles at it. That smile is the same smile I found myself falling in love with, and watching her is breaking my heart.

Her eyes are already closing when I lay her back against the puffed pillows and her lips start to bleed red, as the lipstick smudges from my kisses. I whisper sweet words and I cry at her frail body as it weakens and falls loosely on the bed; her eyes are closed, her face stiff.

I look at her, I beg for her open her eyes again, long to hear her speak – tell me I’m a useless husband for not washing the dishes last night! Anything!

She does not move.

I panic… I can not see it through!

The ambulance arrives minutes later. I tell them I found her on the bed. They think it’s an attempted suicide, and try to save her by pumping her stomach, but it is too late.

My wife dies on the way to hospital and I am left alone with my guilt. I am lost without her. She is left in peace, without the scares of Cancer